In July 2006, I watched on television as the space shuttle Discovery landed. And then, the cameras cut to bombings in Lebanon.

If I worked for the Intergalactic Press, this would be my brief article:

Earthlings complete small mission

A rocket-powered shuttle carrying six humans landed safely on Earth yesterday, to the joy and relief of those in the species who weren’t too busy killingĀ each other to pay attention.

Carbon-based humans are the most intelligent species to have evolved on Earth, a planet orbiting a non-descript, ordinary star in theĀ hinterlands of the Milky Way galaxy.

“Intelligence is relative,” said Dr. Eelink Garbold, senior primitive-life studies professor at S2 University in the M51 galaxy. “Earthlings have limited exploration capabilities, but have made dramatic advances in recent decades. However, they peculiarly preserve a warring heritage, similar to other species found on the planet, such as ants.”

The shuttle spent 13 days off the planet while the humans on board performed what they call “experiments.”